playboys are the worst
by my life is in my ipod
Summary: prequel to welcome to my hell. having about thousands of teenagers living in the same university who apparently have needs tend to disturb those asleep...


**okay so this is my first fanfic so please try to be nice.**

**Disclamer: I've added a few of my own characters to make the story more interesting...besides them and this story, I don't own anything. :D**

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><p><strong>Playboys r the worst<strong>

"_ah don't stop, yes that's it"_

Okay seriously this was my weekend of pure freedom from books and I definitely didn't dream about spending it listening to some girl getting fucked out next door.

Okay as for introductions my name is Angel Kisage. Normal teenager – I think anyway – Who goes to Konoha University which has too many playboys for it's own good.

_ 'that's the spot"_

Taichi's sure isn't wasting any time. I mean it's only Friday and he's already getting laid…..though I'm not surprised; that guy just has to wink at a girl and the next thing you know there's moaning coming from the guy's bathroom. Surprising eh

"_HARDER"_

Okay that's it I don't care if the girl in there is the queen of England, I'm going in there and stopping this shit, I mean it's fuckin 2 am and this has to be like their 4th round – I'm counting because there's nothing else better to do – and a girl needs her friggin beauty sleep.

''_that was great Taichi maybe we should do this again sometime''_

Yes! yes! She's finally leaving now maybe I can finally get some – highly deserved – sleep. Just then I heard another girl in Taichi's room;

"_Hey Taichi ready for our ' session' "_

I think I spoke too soon. And the worst part Taichi's not the only one. Almost 3 out of 4 of the entire guy population are playboys – the rest our either too young or already have girlfriends - .

My best friend is a slut. I'm pretty sure that last Tuesday in History she was telling me of this guy she banged, what was his name – well then again who cares – anyway she said that he was her sixty something – I didn't really pay attention due to that goddamned asshole who lives in the dorm next to me. He and some other chick were doing it all night (much to my delight) and I couldn't get any sleep - .

Any ways you get my point. Just last week my first face to face meeting with konoha's heart throb – _coughplayercough_ – didn't go like I would've wanted it to. Stupid asshole….

Flashback

_I had come to accept some facts about my science class:_

_1. __It was a place for complete – perverted – idiots with no lives. (that's not why I was there. The reason was that I needed that subject for my future goal)_

_ 2. __My teacher was a complete psychopath who had a weird obsession over Sasuke the player himself. ( I always thought it to be like 'a teacher favoring a child')_

_ 3. __Most of the girls – cross that all the girls – that take this class is only due to the Uchiha._

_And the latest..._

_Agreeing to becoming partners for a class project with said player only leads to trouble._

_Anyways so it happened like this…. I was quietly listening to Orochimaru – my science teacher – ramble about some sort of project which was worth half of our entire year's grade blah blah blah….. and the next thing you knew he had slammed the duster on his desk and told everyone to find a partner in under 30 seconds or he'll just decide them himself._

_That lead all of the students running around the classroom like maniacs trying to find 'the one' – that would be able to get them an A on the project without any effort – and all the girls in the class – not including me – were begging the Uchiha to be 'their partner'._

_Frankly I wasn't really bothered about this project, I mean I was good in science and could survive with anyone – cause I'm just that awesome – and still get an A. Apparently the Uchiha knew that too. _

_Now I was calmly sitting in my seat when a rather strong hand pulled me in it's direction. I was seriously confused as in what the fuck was happening and the only thing I could see was girls, lots and lots of girls with their jaws hung to the ground._

_I looked up to see the devil himself quietly – arrogantly – smirking. Next the snake happened to be taking a stroll around the classroom observing all the pairs made – more likely as if looking for the partner of his precious 'Sasuke-kun' (which wasn't me….right?) –. _

_Well how wrong I was cause as soon as he saw me, he gave me a glare so strong I could practically feel it boring holes into my head. And then he spoke "Ah Sasuke-kun I see that you have picked 'her' to be your partner, although if you aren't comfortable with her, you can work alone and I can help you if you need me". A scowl had replaced orochimaru's smile after Sasuke's next answer._

_The basterd replied with a simple 'hn' and lead me to a seat next to his and quietly whispered "I need an A and you need to get out of this classroom alive and be safe from the sluts so why don't we help each other and be partners."_

_I thought about it and it seemed like a reasonable price to stay away from the girls – who were now glaring daggers at me and one was even holding up a sign saying ' I'm gonna kill you bitch', yea agreeing seemed like a very tempting option right now – ._

"_Fine" I calmly retorted back. His answer was a simple 'hn' and a wink. Well if I thought that it couldn't get any worse, I was wrong. Cause that wink just caught the attention of the entire class and the next time I looked up from my notes, I found the entire female population – in the class – glaring at me along with that snake asshole. And the worst of all, the basterd sitting next to me was smirking._

_If the whole glaring incident wasn't weird enough for me then what happened after class was._

_When everyone was about to leave after the bell rang orochimaru requested – ordered – me to stay after class. The Uchiha said something along the lines of 'too bad I couldn't do anything' to 'You better watch out' and I hate to admit it but he was right about his last sentence._

_After everyone was gone and I was standing in front of his desk he spoke with a menacing tone – and I'm repeating direct speech here – "don't you dare touch my Sasuke-kun, his body is mine, you hear me MINE!"_

_I think it would be safe to say that I was literally freaked out for life. I kept on standing there, an expression on my face that resembled a kid's who had just witnessed a murder. I couldn't sleep for days. And that was another reason why I disturbed my beauty sleep._

End flashback

Now that you know how that turned up I think that you can realize one of the reasons why I hate playboys. Not to mention that the reason that I hate playboys became the reason why I hate sluts and fan girls as well. After the Sasuke event I had almost forty threatening letters coming out of my locker every day. – do the math people, that's a lot of threats – .

Apparently Captain McSlutty aka Karin hasn't let me live this down, not even once – I'm serious when I say that, just last week she had it published in the school newspaper and got me a ' we hate Angel Kisage ' fan club (honestly I never thought I'd get one of those) – she's been glaring holes into me in Science class along with that snake pedophile. – She's sitting in the back and the snake's in front and I'm in the middle so you can just imagine how I feel –.

And the worst part that Uchiha enjoys it. He keeps on smirking in class and keeps on trying things that would make the sluts jealous and it always works like a charm – seriously what happened to the ' I'll help you survive the fangirls, all you have to do is be my partner ' – though I just ignore him and think this as a test that Kami-sama is putting me through and keep on working. – science officially sucks DX –.

My bff – the one I mentioned before – Mai – who also happens to be Taichi's older sister – has noticed my pissy mood – and the school newspaper – and has advised me to get laid. What a slut. I can just remember her saying _"don't worry and wipe_ that frown off you face. This is obviously just sexual tension, just get laid and you'll be absolutely fine. That's what I do all the time". I repeat what a slut.

On the other hand my true bff, Azumi suggests me to 'kick Sasuke in the balls and shove his ego up his ass '. Quite creative isn't she….

Well then there's Naruto the class clown and Sasuke's best friend. He isn't that bad, he just is the biggest daredevil you might have ever seen. I'm serious, last month Kiba dared Naruto to prove that he was 'well endowed' in the middle of the class room, and yea he did it.

As soon as he did Hinata fainted, Sakura well got mad, Sasuke yelled a 'dobe', Kiba grinned like an idiot, Azumi didn't look so good – Azumi actually had a crush on the idiot –, Sasuke's fangirls muttered a 'disgusting', Naruto's fangirls flailed, I hit my head with a book and Naruto himself started moving his dick around and that just happened to be in Azumi's face.

Azumi had a nose bleed and fainted onto the ground and at that very moment Kakashi-sensei decided to make an entrance – he was always late and whenever he entered the class he would have some weird kind of excuse to which everyone would yell 'LAIR', though that didn't happen this time – and as soon as he came and saw the scene in front of him, he ran for the door mumbling something about reading too much porn and now imagining his students doing it.

I had to take Azumi to the nurse's room and sit by her – cause I'm just that good of a friend – until she woke up. As soon as she did the nurse asked her what happened and due to the memory she fainted, again.

Normally Azumi's more confident than anyone I know but I guess the tables have turned. Well I don't blame her, I mean even I would faint if the crush of my life – if I had one – (accidently) waved his dick in front of my face.

Anyhow speaking of the devil, Naruto came rushing into the nurse's office jumping on Azumi and started shaking her and yelling at her to get up. It kinda went like this "Azumi-chan I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that, it…it was the teme's fault – yea the teme's fault – and please don't die on me, I'll go to jail and I'm too young to go to jail. I've always pictured myself getting teme out of jail, I never knew I would go there….." And the babbling continued.

I was so annoyed that I literally face palmed myself and when he started going on about him never doing the doggy position and then I took the honor of slapping him as well. When she woke up she saw Naruto straddling her and fainted …again.

-././././././././././././././.-

"_I've never experienced anything like that before…..we should probably get together again sometime "_

"do you think he's actually gonna call them?"

"Rika your still awake?...I thought you were asleep". "If you think that anyone can fall asleep in this noise then you have officially lost it."

"_okay booty call no.12…..check. Now lets see what no.13 is up to"_

"Oh great, Angel looks likewe'll be up all night at this rate…oh well I'll might as well just go to the lounge and get started on my science project….well see ya."

That was my roommate slash a friend from science class – I know what you're wondering, that if she's Sasuke's fangirl…well no, she did originally join the class to be around Sasuke but she got over him but stayed since she thought (or knew) that she could pass the class without a sweat. –

She's the kind of freaky genius that can break my outstanding – highest – scores. That's how we first met, I can still remember it as if it was last week…..well it was last week but uh you get my point, so it happened that last week my English teacher, Kurenai told me about a new student who even surpassed my grades and you can say I was shocked – well then again who wouldn't be shocked after scoring almost perfect grades and then finding out that someone beat you – , the first thing that I was able to say was _"Am I being punked?"._

So yeah I wasn't being punked and I learned that being in the _top five_ instead of the _top one _does have it's peaks for example:

1. You don't have a position to keep so you don't have to study hard.

2. Being laid back and sleeping in class is very refreshing.

3. You don't get to look at your Maths textbook for at least an entire month.

4. When you purposely forget your textbook at your dorm – having an excuse that you were studying for exams – and get a warning about failing class, you don't need to give a rat's ass about it.

5. You can do whatever you like – if it's not stupid – and the principle won't be able to kick you out because your one of the _smart ones._

6. If you decide to let a certain Uchiha fail his science class because he continues to test your patience, you won't feel any guilt about it.

One good thing that came out of Rika falling for Sasuke was that Momoka – Sasuke's fan club president and my enemy – and I actually got along for once and came to a truce that we both will somehow get rid of her – as in Rika – but after realizing all the above mentioned facts, I stopped hunting her down and me and Rika became friends. She lost her crush on Sasuke – after noting how much of an asshole he was – and Momoka went back to hating me. You can say everything went back to normal…..

.

.

.

That is until Momoka found out how close me and Kyousuke – he's a childhood friend and we both see each other as siblings – were and thought that we were into each other. She saw the opportunity and asked him out. I was mad at him for saying yes and wouldn't talk to him for days until I finally forgave him.

Their relationship is sorta gross, I mean it's not every day that your best friend starts dating the very girl you hated enough to try and throw off a cliff – when I was a kid Momoka destroyed my most favorite teddy bear and in return I threw her off a cliff….but unfortunately she survived and then I had to fake tears that I had _'accidently'_ made her fall….well everyone fell for it so I had nothing to worry about –.

Back to the point, every time they make out in front of me – Momoka's the one starts it since she knows it annoys me –, I make a face that screams '_eewww'_ and Momoka thinks it's because I'm jealous. I am the kind of person who doesn't get annoyed by these kind of things – normally I would freak out but I knew that she was doing this to get me jealous, so yea – . Besides I see the way she always looks at Sasuke, and as far as I know about those bitches – fangirls – they won't ever betray him, so I'm not bothered.

You know how I told you about Taichi and his habits well-

"Hey Angel, Open up it's me Taichi"

Well speak of the devil. I got off my bed and went to answer the door with the idiot on the other side. I could honestly hear his mumbling on the other side. Well isn't someone impatient.

I opened the door to a nervous Taichi scratching his head. Until he spoke "Hey Angel, well I seem to have come across a very disturbing problem and was wondering if you would kindly help me with-"

"You know if you used the same English in your English class. you might just pass it", I interrupted. He muttered a sigh and said "OK so I'll get straight to the point….I ran out of condoms, I was wondering if you had some I cou-"

He didn't have time to finish as I had already slammed the door in his awe struck face….

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><p><strong>please review and tell me how it was...I was thinking of making a sequel.<strong>

**tell me in your reviews if you want me to make one. XD**

"Oh well I'm not friends with Sasuke for nothing, maybe I could ask him for some".


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